Who needs horror films when you have stock reporting?

Fox Business’ report on Abercrombie & Fitch’s pretty spectacular profit drop reads more like a movie pitch to Fox for a horror movie.  It amused me greatly this morning:

“Slammed by a traffic slowdown and weak women’s retail sales, Abercrombie & Fitch (ANF) spooked Wall Street Thursday by disclosing a deeper-than-feared 33% dive in second-quarter profits. … The dreary news from the teen apparel maker sparked a massive selloff.”

It reminds me greatly of the classic skits on SCTV featuring Count Floyd (really the newsman in a vampire outfit) trying to hype up another lousy scary movie (“in 3-D!”) during the late-night hours, itself a parody of local TV late night airings like Chiller Theater. One of my favorites of the “Monster Chiller Horror Theatre” parodies is above, the incredibly scary “Dr. Tongue’s 3-D House of Pancakes.” Enjoy.

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